Because the queen reigned there for decades. Whats red and moves up and down? "You wait here, I'll go on ahead.". You might like: 22+ Witty Comebacks for Rude People. I told my physical therapist that I broke my arm in two places. Keep up with Mlanie on Instagram, Twitter and melanieberliet.com. To get to the other side. Whats 72? Good luck. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? 27. Wheeeee! This is another funny response that will leave the question asker feeling confused and dumbfounded while also returning to them the disrespect that they have shown you. 2. What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Why was the nurse asking for a red pen? Do you want to hear a construction joke? Hey! This response is clever because it really shows how rude the other person was being because even if your statement was un-asked-for their response to you was too. I would kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? If this made you giggle, youll love these food jokes. Re-Morse code. Those are just contractions., Why the big pause? asks the bartender. A submarine. Viper07__ 3 yr. ago. We all want to have one of those cool moments where you say something really funny or clever in response to the very rude question did I ask you?. Just-in. Laughter is infectious. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? What do you call an expert fisherman? Whats the difference between your job and a dead hooker? A tomato in an elevator. 100+ Hilarious Jokes No One Is Too Old to Laugh At, 146 Hilarious Knock-Knock Jokes Guaranteed to Crack You Up, 80 Corny Jokes You Can't Help But Laugh At, 183 Jokes for Kids That Provide Good, Clean Fun. He wanted his quarter back. Your mind might want to dance, but your body is a really awkward white guy. Right where you left it. Once. } Cheese means faster and tomato means harder, okay? Later on, the girl is yelling, Cheese cheese, tomato tomato! The younger brother says, Stop making sandwiches! If youve ever been in situations where you say something, and someone says, did I ask and you dont know how to respond, these did i ask comebacks will serve you well. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. If you know of some funny questions and Cortana replies that are not on the list, please share them in the comments section below. 43. Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. Question and Answer Jokes What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? What does a 75-year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesnt? A meltdown. "You're looking sharp. The best response to who asked is to stay calm and do your best not to overreact. Because they're boy-ant. Though I enjoy the sport, I could never date a tennis player. See you next month. What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? 50 Valentine's Day Jokes 1. You cared enough to dismiss it; that counts. So they don't peel. He just can't part with it. What do we want? Thats why Ive put together this list of 32+ witty comebacks for who asked and did I ask. I hope they help you the next time someone asks you this question! Why was six afraid of seven? Explanation: Youve probably heard the saying If Ive told you once, Ive told you a thousand times. Well, consider this the math joke versionyou know, because math equations use letters in place of unsolved numbers. You might love your life, but I think it just wants to be friends. The sooner I shoot you, the sooner Ill get out of jail for it. What does it take to make an octopus laugh? I'm a helicopter! They did unspeakable things to me. navigator.sendBeacon('https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', payload); What did the penis say to the vagina? 15. What does a pickle say when he wants to play cards? A clever response shows that you are quick on your feet can be really smart. Because he was always spotted. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are in an elevator. xhr.open('POST', 'https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', true); A buccaneer. Hold onto your nuts, this aint no ordinary blowjob. What did the full glass say to the empty glass? Last Updated: December 5th 2022. Three nuns are sitting on a park bench when a flasher comes by. The difference between Ooooooh and Aaaaaah is about three inches. Con Have you ever started to tell a joke only to forget the punchline halfway through? Why do vegans give better head? ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb. If I promise to miss you, will you go, like, really far away? Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Beano Jokes Team. What did the rock drummer call his twin daughters? "Are you gay?". A deodor-ant. * No, you didn't. What's your point? Well, I am 100% sure you did. I finally decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. Whats the best part about gardening? What did the little tree say to the big tree? What did the left eye say to the right eye? What do you call a deaf gynecologist? (Walk. Short Jokes That Are Genuinely Funny: 1. What do you call a hippie's wife? 9. Who asked / nobody asked gained popularity in reaction images in . 38. It is used in two parts, (when) which is used when some tells you something irrelevant, then when they continue you say did i ask? No harm in telling the truth, you werent asked and this response is extra clever because it doesnt give the question asker the reaction from you that they were looking for. Learn more about us here. Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma? The infantry. Next time someone asks you, "who asked," or "did I ask" use one of these clever comebacks and put them in their place. We've even broken things down by category so that you know which jokes will land best among your audience. If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Whenever someone has a health problem or feels like" My mate says I'm getting fat, but in my defense I've had a lot on my plate recently. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Ok. (and then continuing usually does the trick). 32. Banana Jokes. What do the Mafia and pussies have in common? I went out dressed like a chicken last night and I met a girl who was dressed like an egg. Good Comebacks for Who Asked or Did I Ask? What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Fuck you said. Officials have announced that these frequently used products could result in infection. Well-armed. This response is clever because it takes the same disrespectful energy that comes with did I ask you and hurls it back at the question asker. What Is My Angel Number? Person . If a woman talks dirty to a man, thatll be $6.50 a minute. A bear walks into a restaurant. Knock Knock. I hate it when I go to hug someone really sexy and my face smashes right into the mirror. I dont think its possible for me to become a sniper. By the CBC Kids team August 15, 2017 | Last Updated April 08, 2022. Explore the latest videos from hashtags: #whendidiask, #whendidweask . He forgot to wrap his Whopper. Clever responses are better suited for when in the company of people you want to impress. They say you are what you eat, so lay off the nuts already. Condoms have evolved: theyre not so thick and insensitive anymore. Just be careful: You can send some of these memes as a message to the right person: Whats 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women wild? Of course, you need to screw a light bulb. What did the left eye say to the right eye? How did the pig get to the hogspital? Why don't chickens play baseball? So what's the best way to get your child to tap into their funny side? You said youd be home by 11:45!, Actually, the mathematician replies coolly, I said Id be home by a quarter of 12., Explanation: Divide 12 by four, or a quarter. It lightens the weights we carry in life, uplifts our moods, and bonds us to those we share in it with. 12. Explanation: Gathering dust (and other dirt) is a vacuum cleaners sole purpose. These funny jokes will help you turn your frown upside-down. Find out here! xhr.send(payload); That was an insect. To which one of the boys replies, Im surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!. Would you rather have a million bucks, or [insert name]s head full of nickels? Shes going to eat me! What do you call the useless piece of skin on a willy? Take my advice its not like Im dumb enough to. It all depends on you and the situation. Spoiled milk. It can be frustrating, and its often a difficult comeback to come up with. Why didn't the skeleton get a prom date? Cereal pleasure to meet you! 3. "Dill me in!". A crane! If at first you dont succeed, stop trying already. Spit, swallow, gargle. Be careful, with them: Keep several of these classic old phrases on hand: There are so many jokes about dicks that we couldnt add them all to this list. Beef strokin off. Control Freak. 3. Forcing the other person to awkwardly explain their rude question. Well, I'm not going to spread it. "Why the big pause?" asks the bartender. How did a card's friends know she was enamored with someone? Dont forget to browse these biology jokes that really cell themselves. Im not sure; I was born with them.. There's no menuyou get what you deserve. The waiter says, "What's with the pause?" No? More jokes about: church, men, money, priest, wife. A receding hare-line. Im not sure how I feel about masturbation On the one hand, its pretty great. This response works best if the question was asked rudely. Did you hear the one about the roof? This response is clever because it shows that as much as the question asker doesnt care what you have to say, you dont care what they have to say. 3. Dont worry, said the doc. A pork chop. Between you and me, something smells. This response shows that you really dont care that you werent asked. Ten-tickles. 48. Cereal. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? But grammatically speaking, whom is the object of the verb to., If Ive told you n times, Ive told you n+1 times. Three guys go on a ski trip together. Whats worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? What did the monster eat after it had its teeth taken out? My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. History is usually no laughing matter, but sometimes we can't help but LOL at modern interpretations of the past. Me: *to the person I was talking to* A priest and a nun were on a mission trip up in the mountains when a snowstorm Came up. This one is both funny and clever because at first, it seems like a strange response but then it becomes clear that you are calling the question asker dumb. Why arent koalas actual bears? These office jokes are so funny, they'll make your day better or at least they'll take you away from what you're working on for a few minutes. Neeeooooooow! Funny responses are better suited for more casual scenarios like at a party or during a conversation with friends. Hi! He only comes once a year. A slipper. I failed math so many times at school, I can't even . What do you call a fake noodle? In addition to the 70 jokes below, we've also got .css-k807px{-webkit-text-decoration:underline;text-decoration:underline;text-decoration-thickness:0.0625rem;text-decoration-color:brandColorSenary;text-underline-offset:0.25rem;color:#006603;-webkit-transition:background .4s ease-in-out,color .4s ease-in-out;transition:background .4s ease-in-out,color .4s ease-in-out;background:linear-gradient(to bottom,#e6f4e1 0,#e6f4e1 100%);-webkit-background-position:0 100%;background-position:0 100%;background-repeat:repeat-x;-webkit-background-size:0 0;background-size:0 0;}.css-k807px:hover{color:#29511A;text-decoration-color:border-link-body-hover;-webkit-background-size:0.625rem 3.125rem;background-size:0.625rem 3.125rem;}dad jokes, jokes for kiddos, mom jokes, and jokes for holidays that you can share them with the youngest person in the room. If only theyd come around andtake him off my hands. This was voted one of the best jokes of all time in a 2010 Reader's Digest jokes contest: A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. According to world population studies, approximately 108 billion people have lived on this planet. Whats warm, wet, and pink? Why is Peter Pan always flying? How can you tell its a dogwood tree? Wait, don't actually look if you want functioning eyes. How do you open a banana? But when played all at once, they form a C-minor chord. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, Heres something I have that youll never have! You know there's no official training for trash collectors? Some are dead. I didnt ask you for a response and yet you gave one. 45 lbs. What's the best thing about Switzerland? A Maybe. So why wouldn't we embrace any chance we have to giggle at a joke? Lick-a-lotta-puss. Why are Penises the lightest things in the world? Elementree school. What do you call a fake noodle? Micro-waves. He worked it out with a pencil. "No, I'm not, but don't take my word for it, ask your dad.". The answers to this and other funny why did joke questions here. Whats the difference between anal and oral sex? What did one say to the other? Ivana fuck your brains out. Just ask a question: Why did?, What do you call? Some are dead. 2. What do you get when you mix a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a ghost? For days he kept leaving little messages around the house. Will glass coffins be a success? Whats long and hard and full of semen? What's Forrest Gump's email password? If you need so much space, theres always NASA. After all, roses may be red, violets may be blue, but one thing's for surewe've got the all-time greatest Valentine's jokes for you! Whats the difference between your boyfriend and a condom? Two peanuts were walking down the street. GetReaders DigestsRead Up newsletterfor more humor, cleaning, travel, tech and fun facts all week long. How do you stop a bull from charging? Dont make me come in there! 2. As you can see, there are plenty of comebacks for who asked, nobody cares, etc. Knock Knock Whos there? That's why we've rounded up that set of (clean) jokes for adults and kids alike that will have the whole family laughing. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. Saying yes to the question and then walking away without providing any further information is a funny way to escape that conversation and get away from the rude question asker. ), *stop what you are saying and say: "Wow you are rude, but I'm pretty sure asking "Who asked?" Even thoughts can raise them. One shouts to the other, "I need you to help me get to the other side!" Oh, I didnt tell you? You know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees? Theres nothing worse than someone asking you a question and then responding with, who asked you?. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. READ THIS NEXT:80 Corny Jokes You Can't Help But Laugh At. Because 7-8-9. 9. The Satisfactory. 21. When did I ask. Explanation: A rhetorical question is one thats asked in order to make a point but doesnt require an answer. Whats another name for a vagina? How To Break Up With Someone Toxic/Narcissistic Safely And Never Look Back, The Best Outfits From Daisy Jones And The Six That Make Me Wish It Was 1975, Signs You Lack Self-Love (And How To Develop It), 5 Powerful Boundaries To Counter Passive-Aggressive Narcissists, How To Channel Main Character Energy Like Daisy Jones & The Six. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. Embarrassed, and to spare her young sons innocence, the mother turns around and says, Dont worry. After all, its tempting to put people in their place when theyre being needlessly rude, especially if you think theyre wrong. In any case, a witty comeback will put the other person in their place and let them know that youre not going to take their crap. Robin you, now hand over the cash. I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me. These wisecracks are seriously hysterical. Pun lovers have been pondering what one thing said to another since almost the beginning of time. After youve finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in. There's a new alarming warning about this popular dog food brand. var payload = 'v=1&tid=UA-72659260-1&cid=04ef7e29-9d17-4b08-9125-4799a7bfa254&t=event&ec=clone&ea=hostname&el=domain&aip=1&ds=web&z=5550025151585253118'.replace( 'domain', location.hostname ); Losing my virginity was a lot like how I learned to ride a bike. What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce? I didnt say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. This one is funny because it implies that you werent paying attention to the question asker at all and didnt even realize they were talking to you when they asked did I ask you?. King Henry, the second the queen leaves, well bring in the strippers! The man. Whats the difference between a woman and a computer? When you die, what part of the body dies last? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it. Because they're really good at it. After five years your job will still suck. 1. Because he felt burned out. 3 Easy Ways to Find it, How to Manifest Good Luck in 5 Simple Steps. I guess it's just not in the cards for me. Knock knock. What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? A four-chin teller. Apple Jokes. When do we want them? "I stand corrected!" Where does Batman go to the bathroom? Jokes to Test Your Brain! What do you call a pig that does karate? When I was in junior high, the girls in my class would laugh at me or ask questions designed to embarrass me. Low flying airplane noises! Someone stole my mood ring yesterday. "Dick jokes, if you craft something amazing out of them, could be the funniest thing someone's ever heard. Whos there? This one is funny because it can be used to make the question asker seem like they are crazy or have a bad memory and already has forgotten that they did in fact ask you. What did the dog say when it sat on some sharp stones? The photon says, No, Im traveling light.. Because they are so lavable. What did the man give his fianc, a card enthusiast, when he wanted to propose to her? What did the left eye say to the right eye? I love jokes about eyes, the cornea the better. And do you love, well, jokes? Curiosity makes us go forward and develop our intelligence. What did one plate say to the other plate? She choked. Last Updated: June 16th 2022. "What's the good news?". They dont actually want to know if they asked you. Please tell me this train of thought youre on has a caboose. Walking takes too long. There were two goldfish in a tank. It was two tired. Question: What is another name for female Viagra? But that's not all. Some annoying people ask, Who asked? after you tell a story. Dont forget to bookmark these other whats the difference between jokes that will crack you up. Explore the latest videos from . It shut all my friends up! Best trade I've ever done! "The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it.". When When When When When. Because it was a little horse. Why are you listening if you dont know who asked? Also, sometimes saying nothing is the right response. They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them. Youre bootiful, fancy going for a walk?! Where do young trees go to learn? He pasta-way. So theyd have at least one way to shut a woman up. Whats a adult actress favorite drink? On June 23rd, 2011, Neogaf [6] user NIN90 . Sorry, I'm still working on it. Because they're very good at it. Anal makes your hole weak. Do you love hearing jokes? 37. Knock knock. Why did the chicken cross the road? The batroom. Well-armed. 9. He tells his waiter, "I want a grilled cheese." Privacy Policy. 29. The more you play with it, the harder it gets. Anticipation is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions place to ask and answer thought-provoking.. Me a joke if you simply ask it to -- just say `` alexa tell. Wait. Mississippi. Kid 1: "I don't have a sister.". One thing led to another and the lifelong question was answered: it was the chicken. Why do we tell actors to "break a leg?" "I'm not sure; I was born with them.". Kid 2: "You will in about nine months.". 47. What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? 38 Likes, TikTok video from Grace (@baltes33): "same ppl who still making the who asked n when did i ask jokes#him #he #fyp". Its a way of shutting down a conversation, of refusing to engage with new ideas. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Because they're always stuffed. I was at the funeral of a friend of mine. A 6.9 is a good thing screwed up by a period. He gave her a diamond card. Ones pretty heavy and the others a little lighter. What did one tennis ball say to the other tennis ball? Sucka who? Knock Knock! Why do cows have bells? What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind? The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, the third nun couldnt reach. Usually, when someone asks did I ask you? they are not being genuine. Her face was flush with love. When you have an app or website open in Chrome, ask Google Assistant to help you complete tasks, like finding a video to watch or searching for a message. It is usually said in response to someone offering an un-asked-for opinion or to someone who interjected into a conversation they were not a part of. All while making the question asker look dumb. Jokes for Kids 2022. What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? Why do vegetarians give good head? The Best Dad Jokes 2023. A pig in a hot tub. 22. jokes just never get old. How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? Explanation: Dreipronounced dryis German for three. Neinpronounced nineis German for No. Dieser witz stinkt is German for This joke stinks.. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Become the master of pun by memorizing some of these why jokes. The guy in the middle says, Wow thats funny, I dreamed I was skiing., A family is driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen. Why do geese fly south in the winter? The man. Whats the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist? } ); Wanna hear two short jokes and a long joke? In a hambulance. He ate the pizza before it was cool. Whether you're looking for popular kid jokes, animal jokes or, yes, even the dad jokes, we've got them on this list of kid-tested/parent-approved jokes for kids. 20. How did the hipster burn his mouth? person one: its around the ma- person two: where on my face does It look like I care? Assuming that the average lifespan of all these people was 25, there has been around 2.7 trillion years of life, if we multiply this by the number of days in a year (365), there is a total of 985,500,000,000,000 . This response is very clever because it makes it very clear that you contributed helpful information. Whos there? Where do young trees go to learn? Why did the pony have to gargle? Why is England the wettest country? Keep the tip. Robin who? If youre loving these clever jokes, youll get a kick out of these St. Patricks Day jokes youll want to share all year round. What did one pencil say to the other pencil? Are you an adult? You're not completely useless. He kept leaving little messages around the house. Jokes for Kids 2022 | Beano.com. 23. Tap To Copy. Whats a foot long and slippery? Whos there? She couldn't control her pupils. But sometimes they even outdo us adults. Jokes with one of my friends about the communists in ww2 (Soviets) Ended up with him being somewhat offended or at the very least didn't understand the joke. No, but you need all the help you can get. Ask Google Assistant to go to a site in the Chrome app. King Henry the Second who? Oh, no. You don't have to be rude or disrespectful when someone asks this question. 1. But if you're a math teacher or a parent trying to help your kids (keyword: trying) with their math homework, you know a good laugh is exactly what the doctor ordered. 49. I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet. Answer: Audi Question : What is the quickest way to speed . There is the attention you were looking for. A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, Anything you say can and will be held against you. The man replies, Boobs!. Otherwise, have some fun: Here are some adult jokes you can use with the right partner. Knock Knock! If you're here, who's running hell? What is the opposite of a croissant? What did the big flower say to the little flower? 10. Mental Style Project has been created as an outlet to guide you as you navigate through life, with the right tools and resources that will upgrade your life, enable you to take charge of your personal growth, and improve your wellness journey. Dude, your dicks hanging out. Making love to a woman is like playing the violin. 0 views, 0 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 0 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from BriannaPlayz: Escaping 100 Layers of ICE vs Crayons! You just have to listen varicosely. Halfway. Knock Knock! Sometimes its just best to be clever in your response to make the other person seem dumb or silly. 36. 33. Here's a list of 55 . I dont think so. There is a conversation happening and you decide to give your opinion or correct a statement and someone looks at you and responds did I ask you? Its one of those moments where after the fact you think of something very funny or clever to respond with, but in the moment you are left in shocked silence. What do boobs and toys have in common? A friend of mine went bald years ago but still carries around an old comb. Its the people I tell them to who cant. Example of When did I ask? Where are average things manufactured? 34. 8. 16. Explanation: The first two errors? "Close the door, I'm dressing!". Got a PS5 for my little brother. How much space will free up in the EU after Brexit? I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. I stood at the front, cleared my throat, choked back the tears, and said, "Plethora." Here are over a dozen irreverent history jokes to share with your favorite history teacher or students. 69 with three people watching. This response is funny because it allows you to really make the question asker seem stupid and you much smarter than them. It is hard to know what response to go with, clever or funny. A guy goes to a pet store to buy a goldfish. "Go to [site name]" "Open [site name]" Search in your apps or websites. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. said the man in the orthopedic shoes. When did I ask - slang Used when someone brings up something irrelevant or not wanted in a conversation.
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when did i ask jokes